Is it just me, or have you ever noticed that the alphabet soup that floats around in your head – those randoms thoughts, worries, decisions-to-be-made – always make more sense and seem to work themselves out into a reasonable form when you say them aloud? When I talk things out with Kevin or a friend, I always feel better, like I have a better grasp on how to handle things. I’ve found this to be true in prayer as well.
I’m a prayer-walker. I often wonder if people in the neighborhood peer out their windows at me as I walk down the street, thinking “there’s that crazy woman again, talking to herself”. The dog loves it – he thinks I’m talking to him! I don’t really care one way or the other, because I like praying aloud. I stay on track and focused.
I had a book recommended to me (shocking, I know!) that is really amazing. Perhaps as a child, you read A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle. She’s written a slew of books and is a Christian author, even though you actually find her stuff in the required reading section in public school libraries! She also wrote a book called Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art, in which she addresses the heart of the artist (all mediums) in relation to Christian beliefs. If you are a creative soul, then read it! She wrote a passage in the book about prayer that really struck me.
“When the work takes over, the artist is enabled to get out of the way and listen. Getting out of the way and listening is not something that comes easily, either in art or in prayer. Before I can listen to God in prayer, I must fumble through the prayers of words, of willful demands, the prayers of childish “gimmes”, of “help mes,” of “I want…” Until I tell God what I want, I have no way of knowing whether or not I truly want it. Unless I ask God for something, I do not know whether or not it is something for which I ought to ask, and I cannot add, “but if this is not Your will for me, then Your will is what I want, not mine.” The prayers of words cannot be eliminated. And I must pray them daily, whether I feel like praying or not. Otherwise, when God has something to say to me, I will not know how to listen. Until I have worked through self, I will not be enabled to get out of the way.”
I like that. I understand it. It’s what my “talking out loud” prayer walks are all about. It enables me to get out of my own head and listen, hopefully producing more beautiful “art” in the way I live my life.
That is so funny! I talk to “myself” all the time! I also do a lot of journaling – a mixture of venting, soul-searching, praying, praises and generally sorting things out. I don’t do it every day, but I try to do it often. When I start to get anxious or bothered by things (and basically caught up in my own personal woes), I know that I’m overdue for a journaling session. It’s just as you mentioned, that’s my time to organize the alphabet soup and get myself out of the way. Once it’s on paper, I don’t have to worry about it anymore. I give it to God and then ask him to fill that space up with His good stuff. One of my ongoing prayers is that my desires would come to be more like His desires. I’m learning slowly to stop “wanting” so much and start accepting what I have and where I am because that is exactly what God’s given me and where God’s allowed me to be. And there’s a purpose behind what I have and where I am – one that, if I get out of the way and am patient, will most likely bring Him glory. 🙂
you know what I love about your blog??? you do the hard work for me! OK, there is still plenty of ‘hard work’ left here to do, but searched out and thought out what I would love to have discovered for myself…if I were better at getting off the computer and making my quiet time a priority:)
thank you, friend
It’s interesting to me why quiet time is so hard to commit to and stick with. If you journal like Julie, or prayer-walk like I do, you feel so much better and gain so much from it – why wouldn’t you prioritize it? And yet, we all struggle to stick with it. I guess that’s where that whole discipline thing comes in…:o\