You may have realized by now that I am a wordy kind of girl. I like words. A lot. Since God obviously knows this, He seems to have taken to communicating with me through the use of words lately.  Now, I don’t mean that He’s using audible words to get me to catch a clue (although that would be very cool in a Cecil B. DeMille – epic Bible movie – Charlton Heston sort of way, and I’m totally open to it).  I mean that, lately, He’s just been dropping random words into my head and then continuing to put them in front of me until I get what He wants me to learn. Perhaps you remember “erode” from not too long ago.  

Over the last couple of days, the word has been “ruined“.  It just popped in randomly the other afternoon and stayed there.  Then, as I read a comment on one of my previous posts, I visited the commenter, Julie’s blog. In her profile she mentioned that she was “ruined for the ordinary”. Ruined.  What does that mean, exactly?
Here’s the definition per
Ru-ined: to destroy completely; demolished

So, Julie was saying that she was a ruined person to all things “ordinary”, in exchange for the extraordinary.  Hmmm.  What am I “ruined” to?  What should I be?  I clicked on over to the Thesaurus and there was one word in particular that stood out to me.  
Shat-tered: the destruction or ruin of; destroyed, disabled. 
I woke up this morning with all this on my mind again.  “Ruined“. “Shattered“. Then I picked up the new book that my Wednesday Girls and I are reading together this summer: Dangerous Surrender by Kay Warren.  In it, she says this:
“I finally said yes [to God and to surrender].  The second I did my heart broke, and I was shattered. It was as though God took my heart and put it through a wood chipper – what went in was a “branch”, but what came out on the other side was a heart shredded into a million pieces.”

I’m in the midst of some unprecedented God-work in my life.  He’s calling me to be obedient and strike out into some unknown territory.  In my own fleshly, human ways I’m comfortable where I am and like the aesthetically-pleasing arrangement of idols that grace the walls of my heart (I am, after all, a former interior designer so they really look nice!).  However, it wasn’t hard to finally piece together what God was trying to communicate.  
He wants me to be “ruined” to myself.  He wants my heart to be “shattered”, and those idols along with it.  Then, and ONLY then, can I follow Him completely to experience the joy of where He wants to take me.  Hard, hard work.  So, so worth it.
Gather all the plunder of the town into the middle of the public square and completely burn the town and all its plunder as a whole burnt offering to the LORD your God.  It is to remain a ruin forever, never to be rebuilt.  Deuteronomy 13:16 NIV

If any person wills to come after Me, let him deny himself, [disown himself, forget, lose sight of himself and his own interests, refuse and give up himself] and take up his cross daily and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also].  Luke 9:23 (Amplified)