I just received a comment to a previous post. It was written respectfully, was obviously heartfelt, and though it was written by someone I apparently know, they chose to leave the comment anonymously so as not to upset me. I really appreciate the heart from which it was written, but I’m still a little heartbroken. Not because I don’t think people should be able to express their own opinions; after all, isn’t that what I do everyday in the land o’ blog? No, I’m heartbroken because there might be others who feel the same way, and if that’s the case, I haven’t done a good job of truly articulating where my heart is on the subject of abortion. Here is part of the comment:
I spent 25 days in the NICU at the hospital after giving birth years ago. My heart was a wreck for some of the babies’ conditions I saw, God opened my eyes then to NEVER promote laws to make others’ choices concerning pregnant women. Although I do believe abortion is an absolute truth in the Bible, wrong, wrong, wrong, I do believe God gave everyone free will to make/break His commands. I don’t believe Jesus would go to such extremes as the anti-abortionist believers go to pass legislation, etc. If I stumbled upon your blog and had had a previous abortion, I would be full of shame, remorse, condemnation far worse than I already was. There is no condemnation in Christ. If we are to be living vessels of His love, how can devoting so much passion and energy into legislating this antiabortion stance be about Him? If you feel led to do that from the Holy Spirit then you should continue, I may be way off base and apologize if I am. Love begets love and hate begets hate. Where do you draw the line, I see people who are so anti-abortion yet pro death penalty. That’s ridiculous if it is all based on the sanctity of human life. Please pray before you write more comments on your blog(which you do have every right to)and see if it comes from having a heart like His. I am anxious to see the outcome! I do love you and I know you are a wonderful person even though we differ on this issue! (emphasis mine)
If you’ve been around here for any length of time, you know that in January, I started the “Changing One Heart for Many – Prolife Blogger Prayer Team.” That’s our button right there in the side bar. Every Sunday, I post links to the most current news items, petitions, etc., on the prolife front, along with a scripture focus and a prayer for the team to pray together that week. We have about 300 in the group, between this blog (and others) and Facebook. I have also been (and continue to be) very involved with the promotion of “Surrendering the Secret: Healing the Heartbreak of Abortion,” which is a LifeWay study written by Pat Layton. I’ll even be co-leading a small group through this study, starting in October.
From my very first post ever written on this topic and the first post for the prayer team, I’ve shared how broken my heart is for women who have suffered in silence, carrying the shame and guilt of a past abortion by themselves for, in most cases, years. In fact, the following is directly from that first prayer team post:
Before I go any further, I want to make something perfectly clear: If you are reading this post, and you have an abortion in your past, please know that my words and heart hold NO CONDEMNATION toward you! I was just chatting with a friend who recently came forth with this “secret” and she told me that in years past, Sanctity of Life week has been terribly hard for her – not just because of the focus on abortion, but because she felt that the pro-lifers were judging those, like her, who had made this decision and still carried its pain and consequences. I speak for myself, and those that I know who are working on the pro-life front lines, when I say that we hold you and your heart in the highest esteem.
This is why I emphasized that particular part of my commenter’s thoughts in bold. It would TEAR ME UP to think that ANYONE would visit this blog and feel condemned. I would just as soon shut the whole thing down than continue on with that as a possibility. My friend is absolutely correct that “there is no condemnation in Christ” (Romans 8:1). To be completely sure that this is not misunderstood, there will be a paragraph to that effect at the beginning of every prayer team (or other abortion-related) post, from here on out.
I do feel that the Holy Spirit is leading my participation in this cause. I’m not a person drawn to controversy or confrontation in any form; quite the contrary. This isn’t something I would seek to do on my own. It is only through God’s leading, and the pain I’ve seen in women who’ve experienced abortion and have honored me with their stories, that I’ve felt compelled to use my voice and my “pen” for “life”. It is my firm belief that if Christians do not stand up for biblical principles and the protection of truths presented in scripture – the very truths upon which our country was founded – then who will?
To Anonymous: I appreciate your thoughts and your willingness to share them. I truly appreciate your care to frame them with love and respect, and I trust that the words I’ve written here will give you a clear picture of where I’m coming from. I’m doing my best to follow where I believe God is leading, and I know you are doing the same. Praying, this day, for us both to run hard after our Jesus.
From my heart,
You have a beautiful heart, Melinda. And I believe that anyone coming to or stumbling upon your blog will see that heart. I do not think they would see it, as your commenter says. I hope she'll come back and find that out herself.
Love you!
Holly
Oh sweet friend. Your heart is so beautiful. In fact, you were the one that I shared my "secret" with after 18 years and you loved me through it. I pray your reader will come back and get to know your heart. It is amazing, without an ounce of condemnation.
Love you and sending prayers both ways!!
Melinda,you have such a deep love for the Father and are so open to following his leading, even when it is not comfortable for you. If this person had been following your blog from the begining she would know your heart and how much love and compassion you have for the women who have gone through abortion. You have even reached out to the men. For some reason, the Father has put you right in the middle of this mission to fight for the unborn, while reaching out to women & (men) who are broken & heart sick from going through abortion. Continue to stay strong and follow the Holy Spirit's leading in this very worthwhile ministry. May the Father hold you up in His righteous right hand and give you peace as you continue the work He has placed you in.
Absolutely love your heart.
((hugs))
Melinda,
There is a huge difference in murdering a person (no matter their age) and putting a person to death under the death penalty. Yes, human life is sacred but justice must be accomplished when injustice has occurred.
God instructed the Israelites on several occasions to completely destroy wicked nations, such as the Amalakites. Wickedness must be punished.
An unborn child has done nothing for which they need punishment. It is our responsibility to give them the voice they do not have and protect them.
The very presence and words of Jesus to the woman at the well caused her to feel enough conviction and guilt to turn from the lifestyle she was living and follow Him. We have no evidence that Jesus shamed her in any way, but His presence and His spirit were enough to convict her. He uses people like you and Pat Layton to do that very same thing.
Satan doesn't like what you are doing to protect the unborn and so he tries to discourage you. Stay the course. Stay faithful to the last word you heard from the Lord. He will reward you abundantly.
Leah
My broken hearted prayers go out to anonymous, they surely do!
Those of us who know and love you Melinda, who have publicly joined in furthering this Spirit led group know these observations could not be further from the truth.
No one said shining light in such pitch dark places would be a cake walk. I continue to pray and thank God for your pure heart and willingness to lift a torch
God's grace, joy and blessings to you!
Tammy
This is very sweet and beautiful. I don't visit often but I'm positive that this misunderstanding probably comes from written communication. Don't get me wrong, I love my email, love writing more than talking. However, the written word has gotten me in some hot water, or at least warm. It is because there is room for interpretation…just like reading the Bible or any other written piece. There is no tone, no facial expression, the reader reads in a sense of blindsided.
As I've not read your posts on abortion, I'm saying this totally blindsided. I guess in my feeble attempts to comfort and encourage you.
The Lord knows I've been misread and I've done my own misreading.
Be encouraged…continue to trust the Lord with your heart. Your heart is beautiful, honest, and open.
"Amen" to all the other comments.
It's a tough subject, as we know. I can think of no one that approaches it with any more sensitivity than you do. I also know that some view any pro-life initiative as guilt-producing interference.
Criticism, even polite criticism, is a good sign. You're having an impact.
Hugs,
Kathleen
Melinda I can so see that your heart is in the right place! Continue to walk in obediance sweet sister. There is no condemnation in Christ… and none to be found here either.
Melinda,
You have such a beautiful heart. I have read many of your posts on abortion and have always found you to be loving and sensitve with no hint of judgment or condemnation. You are listening to what the LORD is calling you to do and you're doing it beautifully. I believe you're helping heal and change hearts. Stay the course and you will be blessed.
Grace and blessings,
Joanne
Melinda, I've seen you give the message of no condemnation more than once in your pro-life posts and a sweet spirit is always evident. Your idea to start posting a paragraph about "no condemnation" with each post is a good one — that should help address any communication gap there might be. God bless!
I had to write back… it was so God… as I was doing my study on Esther today that I would read this (in ref. to Esther ch. 2):
Mordecai's action on the king's behalf shows that a Jew can also be an excellent citizen. "Those who, in modern times, deny any Christian interest in political processes cannot have read with sensitivity the stories of Mordecai, Joseph, and Daniel. A conflict of interest indeed may come, and has come to many. But each of us, until it does, can take to ourselves the exhortation which in God's name the prophet Jeremiah addressed to the exiles in Babylon to 'seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you' (Jer. 29:7).
Ref. Beth Moore – Esther, pg.53.
Quote from J.G. McConville. Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 1985), 163-64.
Any way it was God's way of confirming to me as I had prayed earlier today for guidance in His will… that we are to be involved and to stand for what is right, just, good – to stand for what His word says … May this encourage you too!
Sweet Melinda,
I am here for two reasons, one is to love and encourage you and the other is to love and encourage "anonymous".
As for you Melinda,
I could not be more proud to call you my friend. I appreciate and support your passion and love for hurting women who have bought the lie that abortion does anything other than steal , kill and destroy.
As has been said by our other friends here, to know you is to know your heart and intention. The trouble with BLOG world is that it can only take us so far into real relationship. Tears run down my face as I think of how grateful I am that you, a woman who has never chosen abortion, has such a deep love and compassion for those of us who have that you offer yourself, your time, your treasure and your love unconditionally.
Stay the course my friend.
As for our dear sister "anonymous", I also say, I love you and understand your confusion and concern. You are not alone.
I too have watched babies in the NICU who have seemed to have no hope. I actually have one as a daughter. She was born at 22 weeks gestation and weighed in at 1 1/2 pounds. I was told that she would never see or hear and that at "best" if she lived, she would be severely handicapped and never live a healthy life. My husband and I considered it a privilege to make her ours through adoption. She is now 21 years old and is a Junior in college. She is completely healthy and a beautiful daughter of God. Make no mistake, had things turned out as the Dr.'s said, she would have been equally valuable to us and to God.
The truth is that abortion steals the life of innocent babies and steals a precious child from the heart of their mothers for life.
I know, i was one of those mothers.
We all do understand the confusion that swirls around the word "abortion". That has been the very tool the enemy has used for over 35 years to destroy over 50 Million pre-born lives.
My prayer, Melinda's prayer and the prayers of thousands upon thousands of women who have fallen into his trap, is that God will forgive our Nation and Heal our land.
We pray together that someday no child and no woman or man is destroyed by abortion and that each one will have the chance at FREE CHOICE!!
What a beautiful thing that the Lord can use us so powerfully to minister to one another. I didn't feel from "Anonymous"'s comments that she was angry with you, but maybe processing things for herself. I love that both of you feel safe enough to be real with one another. Authenticity is a beautiful thing. Love you!
Sweet cousin, sister, friend, I'm praying for you tonight, that God gives you strength and makes His purpose in your life clearer than EVER before. I'm also praying for your 'secret' friend. Know that I am here, and so blessed to be a witness at what God is doing in and through you! I love you dearly! Lisa
giWow, Melinda, I had no idea you would post my comments yesterday, however, I appreciate your response as well as others who commented. I have prayed diligently for God's leading in 1)should I remain anonymous, and 2)should I respond once again. I feel very compelled to respond and feel He gives me his blessing in His Word concerning "iron sharpening iron." That's how we grow. I know there are a million reasons to not abort, that was not the meat of my comments. Most comments referred to OT instruction but the NT covenant replaced the old. Paul wrote the majority of the NT and this was after his conversion, transformation, renewal of his mind, etc. Our spirituality affects our choices and we do reap what we sow. God allows us free choice so as to give us the ultimate freedom in Him. He always make good from bad, He always blesses us when we make the right choice, He always forgives us when we make the wrong choice. But that's the point, we are free to choose our path. I just cannot find any Scripture that says to spend our time here on earth taking away our freedom to choose willful or unwillful sin. I know people who have selectively reduced eggs, had abortions for reasons that they could justify, and even some who did not have abortions and the children are abused, neglected, and full of evil themselves. God redeems it all, good, bad, and ugly……wanted and unwanted……..aborted and not aborted. We must always follow His greatest commandment to love others and tell them the Good News of Christ the Messiah who cleanses us from all unrighteousness. When we do this first and foremost and spend our limited time on this earth proclaiming His name, we can change this world one life at a time for His kingdom. Please google "Christian opinions on abortion" and perhaps some scales will be lifted from your eyes. I am racing for my Jesus and perhaps your blog has been a test for me in my own walk to be bold as well in my words. Thanks for reading, I do love you dearly, Siesta!!
Dear Anonymous,
I'm so glad you've been back and reading the comments. I had so hoped you would, and I also hope that I haven't offended you by posting your first comment. It was the only way I felt I could respond, since I couldn't email you back! :o) Plus, I wanted to make sure my position on the issue of condemnation was understood, as that's of the utmost importance to me. You've prompted me to place a short statement with each abortion-related post, which I feel is a really good thing. Thank you.
I had a friend call me yesterday, after reading my post, and tell me of her own abortions. I had no idea. She told me that, had abortion not be legal, she never would've chosen it (in other words, legislation makes a difference). Make no mistake that she takes complete responsibility for her choices, but she feels very strongly that with all the lies that are being put out to women regarding the aftermath of abortion being "no big deal", it is up to us to shed the light of Christ on this darkness.
This just happens to be my area of passion, as I've been given a heart for women's ministry and have found that at the root of a LOT of brokenness found in Christian women today, there is quite often an abortion experience that's been buried. Perhaps you have another area that is a passion of yours…human trafficking, child sex offenders, etc. All are situations that require the love of Christ and His light to be shed into darkness to reveal hope. On that, I think we can agree.
I do have a question for you, however. You say that you can't find scripture to support spending time taking away our freedom to choose willful or unwillful sin. Do you feel that abortion should've been legalized in the first place? That "freedom to choose" was fought for and legislated – it was not a part of our original freedoms as listed in the constitution. Those original freedoms were based on biblical principles. Certainly we would never stand for the legalization of sex trafficking or child pornography. To me, abortion is an area that we let slip through the cracks. It became legal and now, over 50 million lives have been lost and even more adult lives altered forever.
To my mind, I think as long as we go about it in a respectful way, showing the love of Christ in all we say and do, we can and should fight to overturn legislation that goes against biblical principle and causes hurt and devastation. It serves to break down walls and leads people to Christ.
Everything I've read in scripture shows me nothing but God's love for life, and tells me to stand firm in my faith, and doing my part to further the kingdom. Working to shed light on the darkness and devastation of abortion is a small way that I can give hope to these hurting men and women and point them to the love of a redeeming God.
I love you, too, friend, and appreciate your heart and honesty. I hope you'll continue coming back…you are welcome here anytime.
Blessings on you this day,
Melinda
rMelinda,
You have done so much to heal the brokenhearted, mine included. Mine especially. I thank God for the day he dropped me on your blog doorstep. You held my hand, you encouraged me, you held me up in prayer–all while I gave my 22-year old "secret" to the Lord.
Through your encouragement and unabashed love I have never ever felt condemnation. Instead, Healing rain has poured down.
Anonymous, yes, I agree that God gave us free will. I made a free will choice years ago–a bad choice that impacted my life in a myriad of ways. He also gave me the free will to confess my sins and unload the burden…which Melinda helped see me through.
I believe that we are to stand for those who cannot stand, speak for those who cannot speak. I do believe that Melinda's mission is one of the utmost love and mercy and compassion. By standing for Life and unabashedly leading hundreds of women in prayer each week, she is no doubt answering the call that Christ put on her heart. And in doing so, she is a catalyst of Christ's love and a vessel for His grace.
I praise God for your heart, Melinda. I stand next to you with a love-filled heart, grace-tainted soul, and tear-stained face. May God bless all that you do in His name, sister.
Of course I believe abortion should have been legalized, that's the crux of my comments,legalizing the freedom to make the choice that was not included in our freedoms before. Just like the prayer in school issue, we can't force prayer, but we do have freedom(or a choice) to pray in school independently as often as we wish. We all have wounds, hurts, scars that affect our lives forever and only Christ's supernatural power can heal us from wrong choices and behaviors from our past. We are so quick to try to make these procedures illegal, yet so incapable and unwilling to deal with unwanted, unplanned, unloved children. Don't you see I am just trying to say I don't understand fighting legislation to take away freedoms we fought so hard to have, freedom to have a choice as a woman and respected enough by society and God to make an independent decision on our own without a govt. telling us no. Your heart is pure, no doubt, you have obviously been placed on purpose by our Creator to influence, love and shine His light on many who have lived years and years with this secret. Glory to God for your willingness and obedience, you are a true blessing to all who know you and read your blog. Hoping to just present another perspective I received from my own experiences in the NICU that completely changed my viewpoint. There are plenty of people spending their lives in prison or having the death penalty imposed on them that are byproducts of unwanted and unplanned pregnancies. Othere are out there spreading evil on those around them. Regardless, God does know us "in the womb," He knows every detail and yet,in His sovereignty and perfection created us to have freedom of choice. That, my sister, is the bottom line. Shine, be a beacon of light in this dark world, I know you are shining brightly to all those around you!! Blessings to you.
Sweet Anonymous friend,
I believe that we will have to agree to disagree. I would just ask that you remember that there are many people in prison that were NOT byproducts of unplanned pregnancies, just as there are many babies in the NICU that grow up happy and healthy – like my friend, Pat's, daughter. The legalized freedom to end a life isn't going to cure the problems of the world, any more than an end to legalized abortion will. However, from what I've seen and heard from so many, many women, is that the decision that they were told would free them from their "mistake", has instead put them in bondage. It's caused many to wander from God out of shame or not live the abundant life that was intended because of their pain and guilt. This is why I believe it's important to campaign for a change in this legislation; it isn't providing what is promised and people's lives are being crippled.
I'll close with this scripture that is used in the Surrendering the Secret study, as I think it sums up why I do what I do:
…My dear friends, if you know people who have wandered off from God's truth, don't write them off. Go after them. Get them back and you will have rescued precious lives from destruction and prevented an epidemic of wandering away from God. James 5:19-20 MSG
Thank you for sharing your heart. I respect your viewpoint and appreciate your respect of mine. May God bless you beyond all you ask or imagine.
Melinda
Thanks and the same back to you! I love your sweet spirit and wish you the best of all life has to offer you.
Peace be with you friend!!
Melinda,
You are a strong leader who leads from a place of truth and clarity. I am blessed to call you friend and apply these lessons learned by your leadership.
May EACH of us run the race marked out for us… He is SO worth running for! 🙂
Sweet Melinda….I have been involved from the beginning and have never felt any condemnation from your posts. I believe in this cause and through prayer we really do change things. So, keep it up girl. I love what you are doing and am blessed to be a part of this though silently. Much love to you sweet siesta.
Angela
I pray for Christ's grace, peace and understanding through this entire experience. Through everything, when in Christ, good will be brought out!
Love to all,
Lisa