You know those bouncy balls made out of rubberbands?

That’s what I feel like today.

Jumbled.

Wound up tight.

What I thought was going to be a day of finally gaining some clarity in our waiting game, has turned into something different altogether. Different, least anticipated options have left me spinning and trying to find traction, and I’m not sure they’re the ones I want.

But that’s the thing.

These different options hold a clarity all their own. Out of the several others at the start of all this, these are the ones left standing. Through all our prayer about it, these are the ones whose doors God has seen fit to let stay open, and while I should be rejoicing over that fact, I’m not.

I’m stressed about it.

Bouncing off the walls with anger over it, because it was my least favorite option.

Not because it’s a bad option (it’s actually quite good), but because I wanted the other options for entirely the wrong reason.

To get back at people who’d hurt us and made us furious.

It never ceases to amaze me that, even as we think we’re praying about one thing, God uses it to work on something else. Something deep down inside that you didn’t even realize was a struggle. Today will be a day He begins the task of unraveling the tightly wound bands and addressing the poison at their core.

Today will be the day that I let Him.

“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” Ephesians 4:26-27 MSG

“For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:20 ESV

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” Ephesians 4:31 NLT