Yes, I’m talking to you, the married woman.
Can we chat for a minute? I promise I won’t take up too much of your time, but there’s a little something I’d like to discuss, if you don’t mind.
It’s about your husband.
You see, I overheard you at Starbucks, telling your girlfriends what an idiot he is. Sure, you prefaced it with “Oh, I love the guy,” but then you launched into story after story of how he can’t ever do anything right, about how he’s always messing things up so you have to fix them, about how you don’t understand how he manages to make it through the day.
However, after everyone had a good laugh at his expense, the tone turned a little more serious, didn’t it? The rest of the girls listened, as you talked about how he hardly looks at you anymore. You wondered, aloud, how it happened that your once amorous husband, who “rocked it in the sack,” now would rather hold his iPad than hold you. He’s staying later and later at work, you mentioned.
You looked sad, wife. Lonely, from missing that idiot husband of yours.
You know what else? Your daughter was sitting at the next table, with her little friend, playing and laughing. You probably thought she wasn’t listening, but I saw her look up at you several times, when you mentioned her daddy’s name in that ugly fashion. You never saw it, but I did.
She looked sad, wife. Confused about those parents of hers.
If you wouldn’t mind hearing my take on it, I’d love to offer up what I think would solve at least some of your problems.
Yes? Okay? Good. Here it is:
Respect your husband.
Be aware that husband-bashing is poison. It not only shapes others’ opinions of him, but it starts to shape your own opinion to one that has a hard time seeing the good in him.
What you say in front of others has a way of making it back inside the walls of your own home.
Build him up in front of your children. He’s their father, after all, and if you tear him down in front of them, you strip their respect of him.
You can’t expect him to lead if no one considers him worth following.
If you want him home at night – if you want intimacy – start encouraging and praising the good, dignifying him as your husband, and as a man. You will start unveiling the heart you fell in love with…and he will begin to see you in a whole new way.
There is nothing sexier than a man who sees honor in the reflection of his wife’s eyes.
Just some food for thought. A little biscotti to go with your Starbucks, if you will. It won’t solve every little thing in your marriage, but you’ll be surprised at how far-reaching the results of it will be.
Thanks for listening.
A wise woman builds her home,
but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. ~ Proverbs 14:1 NLT
beautiful my friend…just beautiful.
If only that young woman could hear your wise words. I’ve seen this so many times throughout the years — so sad.
Well said, Amen!!
I love this. This is an old post I read from you I think, but the words are so true. Good advise to spread. Thank you Melinda for writing, you do it so well. I look forward to seeing more of your blogs. I love you.
This is so true and to follow up on it the book Love and Respect goes deeper in how to learn to show that respect that men need. The wife will get the love she so desperately needs when she shows him respect!! Happy Valentines!!